I change into one of Derek’s t-shirts that serves as a nightshirt, hoping we will have some privacy when we talk. I’m horny again already and Kristen won’t be back for a bit. I want to talk to Derek, but I am also craving his touch. Although that’s impossible, I’m sure we can come up with something to ease the ache. I log in and my heart swells at seeing him. Jon is putting posters on the walls, but Derek is sitting at his computer. I wish I could reach through the screen and run my fingers through his messy hair; it looks like he just got out of the shower and my mind thinks about other things I would do with him if he were here. I shake the thoughts away and smile.
“No decorating for you,” I ask.
“Not until after I talk to you. I have all day tomorrow anyway.”
“Right. Your classes start later than mine. Lucky,” I pout.
“You’ll be fine. What time is your first class?”
“8:30, which is a ridiculous time for any class. I met some people and we’re having breakfast first.”
“See? You are already socializing.” His smile lights up my computer screen. It hurts because he’s just an image, not flesh and blood beside me.
“I miss you,” I confess. “It actually aches.”
“I know. But it’s only during the week and once classes start…”
“Yeah,” I agree, refusing to ruin our conversation with sadness. “So how’s Jon?”
“Ask him yourself.” He calls Jon over to the computer and my brother appears onscreen. As always, Jon looks happy just to be alive. His smile reminds me of home and I feel homesick now, on top of missing my boyfriend.
“Hey Lily,” Jon says.
“You’re doing a good job making your room not look like Alcatraz. Sorry I am rendering your roommate useless.”
“He’s useless with or without you,” Jon jokes. “Get some sleep tonight, okay? Make sure you start out right.”
“You know I’m almost nineteen, Jon. I’m not in elementary school!”
“No, but you want to keep your scholarship and staying up all night the first night isn’t-”
“Jon, it’s like nine o’clock.”
“Also, the two of you are lucky to even pass classes. Stop acting like a douche. I’m not your kid sister anymore, okay?
“You’ll always be my little sister. And this one best remember it.” He smacks Derek in the back of the head and I smile, watching them mess around. My brother and I have always been close, so I worried about Derek and me, but he’s been supportive. I wonder what will happen if we don’t work out, though. I shake my head; there is no reason even to think about such things.
“Seriously, Lily, get some sleep,” Jon says. “He’ll keep you up all night if he can. I will see you soon.” He leaves the screen. I want to ask him to stay, to ask if he felt homesick, but as close as we are, he’s still a guy. He doesn’t share feelings and he’ll probably just tease me for being emotional.
“He’s gone for a bit,” Derek says. “But he’s right. I don’t want to screw up your first day. I know you have classes tomorrow, but we will talk after dinner?”
“Yeah, call me. I like talking to you on the phone. Besides, then I can-”
He laughs. “Yeah, I know. I remember a certain night last fall. I know exactly what you can do.”
“It’s all for you, Derek.”
“What about tonight? Any plans?” His voice is teasing and I feel the tingling between my legs in response.
“Well, do you have a minute?”
“I certainly do,” he says and, although I can’t see it from this angle, I know he’s reaching for his zipper.
“You know my pussy is wet just thinking about you?” I reach between my legs, sliding my hand up under my nightshirt, and tease my clit while I watch his face react to what I’m saying.
“Are you touching it?”
“I am. What are you doing?”
“Missing you.” I can see his arm moving, but it’s his face that identifies just what Derek is doing. He closes his eyes and lets out a soft groan. I imagine him stroking himself and think of earlier this evening.
“Keep thinking about putting that cock inside of me, Derek.”
“Oh, Lily, you’re so fucking tight. I want to fuck you right now.”
I move my fingers faster, slipping two inside of myself and I watch Derek jerk off. His eyes stay closed while he says my name, but it turns me on to see what he’s doing. I think of riding him and how good his cock feels inside me, and how big it is when he’s hard and ready. I wish I could see it, but the fact that I can’t almost makes me hotter. I come while I picture him fucking me and then I just enjoy watching him finish. After he’s done, he looks a little embarrassed but I smile.
“That was hot.”
“It’s still not the same as being with you,” he says.
“I know, but you know I’m all yours.”
“Good. I will be sure to enjoy you this weekend, but get some sleep tonight. I love you, sweetie.”
“I love you.”
We log off and I turn off my computer. I should go to sleep, but I’m restless. It isn’t late and I don’t know what to do with myself. I could decorate, but my energy is the kind that makes you tired at the same time you want to run a marathon. The school hasn’t set up our cable yet either, so I can’t even watch TV. I consider going for a walk; Kristin comes back in as I am debating.
“Hey, you should have come. It was great,” she says. “Everyone’s really chill.”
“Sorry, I’m just-”
“Yeah, I get it. I saw him,” she laughs.
“I swear I’m not that girl who ditches everything just because she has a boyfriend, but I miss him a lot.”
“It happens. I don’t have a boyfriend, but it’s hard enough starting over without one. I can imagine what you must be feeling.”
“It sucks,” I admit. “But I’m not here for that. I just need to remember it.”
“Right. Classes tomorrow. Yay. When’s your first one?”
“First thing,” I sigh.
“Sucks. Me too, though, so we can get up at the crack of dawn together. Look, I was gonna check Facebook and then take a shower. Will I be bothering you if you’re going to sleep?”
“No, I’m fine,” I say and I wonder why I feel so sad when she leaves the room. I crawl into my bed for my first night as a college student. Nothing has happened, but something feels so wrong. My body is tense and I wish I could shake the bad feelings that are hovering. This is supposed to be a good experience. I just need to stop overthinking everything. It’ll be fine, I tell myself as I fall asleep.
Genre – New Adult Erotic Romance
Rating – X